I am going through an immense amount of self-healing and a big part of that is digging through your history and re-opening old wounds. For many of us, we are opening wounds we forgot or did not know existed. We spend so much energy adapting to smooth out life's hard edges that often times we avoid or lose sight of the root cause. Trying to resolve a situation too quickly is an easy way to do this and a sure fire way to ensure that we repeat the patterns that we are depriving ourselves from learning from. 

In particular, I found myself uncovering this pattern of avoidance or isolation to protect myself. I was working in my Akashic Records and I uncovered a pattern of being the victim of emotional abandonment and the subject of  resentment. To my abusers, I symbolized all that they did not want and what made them unhappy. To adapt and protect myself, I had to learn to become emotionally independent.

Over years, it made me what you might call a lone-wolf. I would be perfectly fine working by myself. In fact, I preferred it. As I asked the Records what I needed to do to heal this pattern, I was shown that by isolating myself and taking on this archetype of the lone-wolf, I was only perpetuating the cycle of abandonment and emotional repression. When we experience relationship trauma, we can take time to isolate to ground but the idea is to get back in the game. To re-connect with the collective. To take the lessons of our experiences and share them. When we do this, not only do we elevate our own consciousness but then we gift others with that too. 

By day I work for a Fortune 50 company in the finance industry. I'm currently working on the Paycheck Protection Program's Loan Forgiveness within my work. As a result, I've been using the term forgiveness quite a bit. In writing a work email, I wrote something along the lines of "requesting forgiveness." I looked at my email and laughed thinking, oh that sounds like they're asking for penance. I decided I should be more specific and indicate "loan forgiveness." 

It got me thinking about affirmations and the energy we put behind our thoughts and words. What could that mean with the amount of energy put behind the word forgiveness with this program alone? It is no question that the world is going through a major shift, a great awakening some call it. For me it signals a monumental period of release that we will go through as a collective. With that amount of energy behind the word, whether conscious of the power or not, it is going to activate a release on a large scale.

As I gave more space to the use of the word forgiveness and the intention behind it, I considered the different thoughts, emotions, experiences, etc that each of us may be holding onto in a way that holds us back.These thoughts, emotions, experiences, etc. create blinders or blocks to our perspective and it is in forgiveness of all directions that we can remove them and see the bigger picture with expanded consciousness/awareness. It allows us to return to the core of who we are with every part as a co-creating contributor rather than a detractor or delimiter. Forgiveness allows us to shift from a perspective of fear, doubt, pain, etc and use the energy in a way that builds us up rather than breaks us down.  

Consider something that you are hiding from others or that makes you tense when you think of it. Now focus on it and say the following words in order:
I'm sorry.
Forgive me. 
I love you.
I'm grateful.

That is the Ho'oponopono Prayer. Comment below your experience.